Become an argument ninja!

Our everyday lives are filled with numberless events which we wish were good so that they could brighten up our day and just have a few that might make us sad. Even though we least like them, arguments are a part of our lives.

Because of our surroundings and our way of life, arguments are becoming an ever more present part of our life and they certainly make changes in it. Most often, these changes are not pleasant to all the people involved and can sometimes lead to unwanted consequences.

The most common reason, as well as the end goal, for arguments is to prove who the winner is and who the loser is. Similar to war. On the other hand, quite contrary to what has previously been said, arguments most often happen at places where we share the same problems: school, work, home, friends, etc. At places where we have to find a solution to the problem, not to see who’s right or wrong! That’s why:

• Listen — start listening to what the other party wants to say and be prepared to show that you’ve understood them. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but try to listen and understand them. That’s how you’ll understand the essence of the problem.
• Think about what was said — words have strong meanings. Think twice before you say something, but also think hard about what the other party told you. If it’s necessary, feel free to ask for more time to think about the things that have been said or done.
• Stick to the topic — during arguments we often stray away from the topic. By doing this we make the situation harder and if initially the problem was one topic, not there are more topics.

• Don’t postpone — whenever there’s a dark cloud above us, we often either ignore it or forget about it. Don’t postpone things and talk about the problem as soon as possible.
• Don’t blame others — This is a habit which is part of our genes somehow and it’s always someone else’s fault, not ours. Try walking in their shoes and see how they feel.
• Involving feelings — when it comes to your feelings, they’re your responsibility, no one else’s. Try to think with a clear head and leave the feelings aside.
• Win/Win — in every argument, try to reach a situation in which both parties will be satisfied. I know that this is sometimes impossible, but at least try to succeed and bring your attitudes closer.

No matter what you implement from the above mentioned tips, when you enter an argument try to be more careful and don’t focus on who’s right or wrong, but focus on how to solve things!

I wish you success with your changes!