TOW#467 ─ Changing your life metaphor
Yesterday something happened to me that I could call a problem, but I don’t want to label it like that, because once I call something a problem then I’m in real trouble. Basically, as soon as I say that I have a problem I feel like the biggest cloud in the world is forming above my head, and it’s going to produce hail rather than just rain.
I learnt a long time ago that we can influence our feelings by choosing the words we use; so I no longer call my problems ‘problems’, instead I call them challenges. Or, if they’re a bit bigger and if I can’t figure out how to solve them immediately, but need some time to moan and cry over them, then I call them ‘doodoos’. No word of a lie :D
Anyway, yesterday some ‘doodoo’ happened, and I did my ritual of moaning and crying, and in the middle of all the chaos in my head I remember that I got bored of the fact that I’m constantly faced with obstacles and challenges in my life — but, still, it’s normal, because you always encounter obstacles in video games, and you lose lives and health until you learn how to pass the level.
It was at that moment that I was struck by the realisation that for a long time now, probably since I first heard about them and played one, I’ve been seeing my life as a video game. This is my life metaphor; in some ways it’s just normal for me to go backwards or constantly try to jump over a chasm.
And you know what the main problem is? I actually don’t like and don’t play video games. So, yesterday I thought — how is it possible that even my life metaphor is an additional burden? If I don’t want to play games, and I don’t enjoy it, yet I call my life a game, is it possible that I’m sending my subconscious the message that I don’t enjoy this life, and that I often give up because I simply don’t have enough strength to reach the next level?
It’s possible. I still don’t have any evidence, but I have a feeling that that’s exactly what’s happening.
That’s why yesterday I dedicated myself to finding new life metaphors, things that I can identify with, things that will motivate me. And I found some, three in fact.
First — Life’s a garden
In that garden, I/we have different plants, grass, fruit trees, fruit — connections, relationships, things, people — which succeed and blossom only to the degree that we are devoted to them and cherish them. Sometimes the garden needs pruning, sometimes it needs weeding (bad relationships, people, things), but when we care for it with love and attention, it bears fruit, blooms and flourishes, and we can enjoy its fruits, and the oxygen that it produces.
Second — Life’s a journey
And the journey itself, not a particular destination, is the goal. Just like every journey, it could be in a direction with a good road. But there may also be inclines, hills, holes in the road, gorges and abysses, as well as unexpected tunnels. Very often the most fantastic surprises and discoveries are precisely where we least expect to find them; and we wouldn’t have found them at all had we not been on the road that we’d chosen.
and Third — Life’s like an ECG chart
A long time ago I read an interview with the actor Ljubo Tadić in which he compared life with an ECG, saying: “Life must not be a flat line. There have to be successes and failures, because when the line is flat, you’re dead.”
So, I wrote down all three metaphors in my two diaries, and I just wanted to share them here with you because someone might realise that their life metaphor is creating a burden and will want to change it. For example, if you see life as some sort of battle or race, and you’re constantly competing and struggling, I imagine that can be very exhausting.
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
Hana Kazazovic, Bosnia and Herzegovina
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