TOW#469 — So long as you’re happy!
“So long as you’re happy!” is a phrase I first heard from a friend from Struga, when I was telling him about some things I’d bought for my home, and how happy I was, and he said “Great! So long as you’re happy!”
I really liked the phrase, because in addition to having a humorous tone, if you look at it more closely, it is syntactically highly valuable and effective. The phrase itself is basically the polar opposite of what is happening in interpersonal relations on the social and psychological level in our country, but also further afield. Saying “So long as you’re happy” doesn’t apply to us personally (I), but to the person being spoken to (YOU). During this time of individualisation, isolation and segmentation, a time when everyone seems to be thinking only about themselves and what I get in a particular situation, this concept, of social thinking and thinking about others, and not only about ‘me, myself and I’, can be key to strengthening mutual communication and improving mutual understanding, as well as coexistence between people.
In the literature on emotions, every emotion or state has its own exact opposite emotion or state. Thus, the concept of Ego (I) is opposite to Empathy (YOU). Today, our “I” is enormous and doesn’t leave much room for the development of Empathy (the “YOU” perspective). Therefore, this concept could (to some extent) go towards making the correlation a bit more positive and creating some space for empathy.
After doing a little research on the use of this expression among people from Struga and other towns in Macedonia, I concluded that, in addition to the fact that it’s mostly used in the Struga-Ohrid region, it can be used in different ways:
1. Honest support for the other person: sincere, positive connotation. When you’re sincerely happy for them and support them in their plans. When you truly sympathise with them and you’re glad for their successes, deeds or achievements.
2. Irony/critique: when you want to be sarcastic and send a wrong message, it’s used in an ironic context. When someone thinks only of themselves (when they’re selfish), then others use the phrase ironically to send the message that perhaps they’re acting selfishly.
3. Advice: sometimes when you want to protect a friend, a relative or a colleague who gives too much to others and you know they might get hurt in a given situation, you advise them to choose this option because it’s better for them.
4. Humor: it’s also used in various other situations, where there may be no particular point, and during any type of conversation, purely for humorous effect.
Whatever the reason for the use of this phrase, it in any case refers to other people (not to oneself), and so it can be useful in changing or improving the relationship between people. However, if you do begin to use this phrase more often, make sure that your intentions are truly positive.
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
Petar Lazarov
“Tip of the Week” Team member
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