TOW#483 — Approach
It’s all about the approach!
I went to a restaurant with a friend a while ago and because it was so busy we sat down at a table that hadn’t been cleared yet. When the waiter came to ask us what we’d like to order, my friend, in a slightly louder and ironic tone, told him “can you first clear this rubbish off the table please!”. When you read the words, they don’t sound so bad and don’t seem to carry any negative connotation. However, those who know a little more about effective communication know that words have the least impact in the transmission of an effective message (8%). Most of the message is transmitted through body language (92%), which includes the tone of voice.
Once the guy had cleared the table (of course, after rolling his eyes) and took the order, he left. I asked my friend whether he was aware what the possible scenarios were now:
- Best case: the waiter will only be offended, because of the way my friend ‘kindly asked’ him to clear the table, but will quickly forget since he meets and deals with different kinds of people every day.
- Middle case: he’ll reduce the service to the ‘bare minimum’, meaning that we certainly won’t be thrilled with the service of the staff.
- Worst case: he could, as we’ve seen in the movies, put something in our food that’s not part of the chef’s recipe.
If my friend had simply decided to change his approach when claiming his rights, and had asked the waiter to clean the table in a nicer way, we might have had a better experience of the service and we would’ve enjoyed our food and drink more.
In terms of approach to the transmission of a message, I saw something that impressed me in the toilet of a LUK OIL petrol station. It’s that message we’ve all seen in public places (restaurants, cafes, petrol stations…) that are frequented by many people, and it has to do with keeping the toilets clean. Usually, the approach is the following:
• It’s PROHIBITED to throw rubbish in the toilet!
• ATTENTION!!! Rubbish is for the rubbish bin!! Not for the toilet!
• The toilet is NOT the place to throw paper, sanitary pads, tampons and other waste. USE THE BIN!!!
If you use this or a similar approach, you need to know what the effect will be on the users/readers. This approach is equivalent to an ‘attack’, and we know that the standard response to an attack is to attack, or “attack is the best form of defence”, as the saying goes. In such situations, because the user feels threatened, even though it’s for no reason, instead of acting in accordance with the rules, they will ignore the inscription (something known as ‘willful blindness’ in psychology) and won’t do anything, or in the worst case scenario will even deliberately make a mess.
In LUK OIL’s case, the message states:
WE KINDLY ASK YOU TO LEAVE THE TOILET CLEAN FOR THE NEXT USER.
THANK YOU!
In this case, the message is not aimed only at the user, but psychologically initiates a feeling of guilt (in relation to the next person that will come). In this way, the company avoids making a direct attack.
Of course, we can’t say with certainty what the actual effect is of either approach (research needs to be done), but according to logic and some psychology, the second approach, and a softer approach always, can lead to better results than being harsh, ironic and/or aggressive.
Right approach, right results!
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
Petar Lazarov
“Tip of the Week” Team member
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