TOW#508 — Speechless
There have been quite a few occasions lately where I’ve been speechless. In the figurative sense of the word, as in it’s not that I don’t have the words, but simply things have happened at certain moments that have left me speechless.
I’ve been thinking quite a bit about why we’re sometimes left speechless and I found several different reasons.
I’ll try to analyse the various reasons that leave us speechless, meaning simply not knowing what to say and not wanting to hurt anyone, and I’ll also provide a solution for each of them. The solutions are my own personal view on things and you can take them on board or not, but I’ll also be glad if you share some of your thoughts on them:
- Ignorance — simply put, you don’t expect some people to say or blurt out certain things and you just end up speechless. You don’t know what to say and just go around in circles. The best solution to this is to ask a question, whether they really meant what they said, to discuss it and see if something’s wrong, or maybe you’re just not understanding one another or the person simply isn’t aware and needs to have it explained.
- Improper communication — this style of communication leaves us speechless, especially if it’s from someone you didn’t expect. The solution is to stop talking, but still say that the conversation is indecent and there’s simply no need to continue. The reasons for such inappropriate communication can vary, and it may be best to find the cause (if you want to continue talking) and to try to remove it, but only if the other party wants that as well, of course.
- Understanding — if we assume that people generally don’t understand each other in the majority of cases, it’s normal that we end up not knowing what to say in certain situations. I know I’ve found myself in this predicament a number of times. I’ve discovered that the solution that always works is to ask the other person whether they understood what I wanted to say, and if not, then which part. Of course, I also mention that perhaps I didn’t understand something, or I try to point out that there’s always more than one way to look at things and maybe we should apply both our perspectives to the matter.
- Expectation — I almost always have (had) some kinds of expectations. Every time that those expectations are not fulfilled, or at least half of them, I’m left speechless. I just don’t know what to say. I find myself caught up in the situation. Here’re some of the solutions I’ve applied:
o I don’t have expectations, especially when I’m somewhere new;
o Even when my expectations are not fulfilled, I stop for a moment, I count to 10 and start again as if everything’s fine. Yes, I know I’m deluding myself sometimes, but that’s how it goes ☺
So, there are plenty of situations that can leave you speechless, but you’ll need to resolve each one of them in your way or the ways I outlined above. Basically, just try to not let others surprise you, because by doing that you’ll never be left speechless, both in the literal and figurative sense.
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
@kalinbabusku
“Tip of the Week” Team member
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