TOW#571 — Parents and working from home
*Thanks to all the parents who took part in this survey
A few months ago, when this whole situation started with the current virus, I found the whole idea of “working from home” very scary. As a mother of two young children, I knew that my productivity would be reduced to, okay I won’t say zero, but somewhere close to it. And this wasn’t far from the truth. Due to the nature of my husband’s work, I was forced to spend the entire day alone with the children while trying to get some work done. I kept wondering, is it even possible to successfully complete tasks at work and be a happy parent at the same time?
All the conversations I had with my children before starting work are still etched into my memory, as I told them: “mum has to work, and during that time you’ll get to draw, you’ll watch cartoons, you’ll be smart and patient, right?” And all that sounded great in theory, until I turned on the computer to work. That’s when the fun would really start! It seemed that that was the perfect time to do everything that hadn’t occurred to them up until then. I’m hungry! I want to go out to play Mum, look all the kids are outside! Can I go out (and here you find yourself working on the window sill!!)? How many planets are there? Who feeds the animals at the zoo? Do you want to draw together? (I’d apparently been in their way before!?) 😊
But how else should curious little children react when they see their mother’s at home and she’s not paying attention to them (read: working)? Can we blame them?
How can we be both successful and happy at the same time when our domestic and work responsibilities have now rolled into one? Since I wouldn’t consider quitting my job, I sought the advice of parents I know who are in similar situations, and I have many examples around me. No matter how much I analysed their answers, the result always came down to one solution: mutual help!
The whole situation these last months has suddenly thrown us to our knees and made us all summon skills we may not even have known we had. There’s a nice word for it in English — Insurmountable.
After analysing all of the parents’ answers, I managed to extract the following general tips and advice that I warmly and sincerely recommend to all of you:
• Ask for help! Forget “I can do it alone” and “I know best”. It’s not the time. The most important thing now is to be organised so we can achieve everything we want.
• Share responsibilities with your spouse: the examples showed me that this works brilliantly, because we all need unconditional love and understanding right now.
• You work for a few hours first, then change. Take care of the children while the other one works. You’ll function better this way, and at the same time the kids won’t feel the lack of attention.
• Call everyone close to you who you think could help out, even if just for a few hours
• Make a list of activities for people who’ll come to help you. You’ll make it easier for them, plus you’ll be sure that your kids are spending quality time.
• Cook fast and healthy meals that don’t take too much time. Be creative.
• Most importantly, loosen the threads on one side. When you’re working, focus fully on it (except in emergencies, of course); when you’re with your children, be with them completely.
• Set aside half an hour for yourself after work, for a walk, shopping, a treatment, hot shower… Spend some time alone.
I think that it’s more difficult to achieve everything that’s being asked of us from home, compared to when working from an office. I believe that everyone’s working day is much longer at the moment because of all the things we have to put on stand by, so we finish them late at night, or sometimes even very early in the morning. But remember that this is just a period that will pass. Perhaps a kind of endurance test? An opportunity to prove (to ourselves) that we truly are superheroes?
Have faith in yourself. Help out where help is needed, allow others to help you and, most importantly, don’t forget about mutual understanding and love because that’s what sustains us. Both in life and during this crazy time. After all, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right!?
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
Elena Martinovska
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