TOW#581 — This is my position!!!
Last week, while discussing promotional activities and strategies for one of our brands, a colleague told me “we can’t do it that way… We said from the very beginning that we would develop it like this, so now I’m not going to allow that to change!”
Of course, it’s good to have a stance on things. It means that we know what we want, we know where we’re going, we’ve developed our character and it’s not easy for anybody to influence our opinions. However, sometimes wisdom is knowing the difference between when to hold your position, and when to let it go or change it.
I don’t want to write much about the fact that we find it difficult to change our attitudes. This is much more familiar to all of us than letting go of them and changing them. There are people who say “I’m like that, I have my own opinions or principles and I don’t change them, i.e. I don’t change my standpoint.” As an aside, I don’t know if you knew, but Freud didn’t accept patients older than 50. His explanation was that they have such rigid attitudes, principles and constructs that it’s very difficult to try to touch upon and change their perspective. Therefore, there was no need for him to waste his time with them. I’m sure you know plenty of other such examples from your private or professional life. They’d rather ‘eat a bag of salt’ than admit they were wrong or change their opinion.
In essence, these examples are related to the fact that we all have strong egos, and we always act from an EGO perspective when we talk and share our views. This is something that doesn’t allow us to easily modify or completely change the perspective from which we speak. Indeed, it’s one of the main problems in those moments when we have trouble communicating with our loved ones, colleagues, friends and family, which can lead to arguments.
Attitudes exist so that they can be changed! Unless, of course, you’ve come to know the universal and cosmic truth and wisdom, or, as the saying goes, you’re the Lord. By definition, а POSITION is a fundamental truth or concept/theory that serves as the basis for a value system, or system of behaviour, or chain of thought. The key words here are ‘fundamental truth’. What is that fundamental truth, or absolute truth that you/we know? We create our viewpoints based on some ‘absolute truth’ that’s true for us at that moment or that’s within our capacity to absorb.
Therefore, when faced with another, higher truth, the idea is not to hold on to your point of view even more tightly, but to find the strength to change it (or at least to think from another perspective). For the good of everyone.
Here are some situations in which you should consider changing your standpoint:
• In order to achieve a higher goal
• When you get ‘beaten’ by rational and logical objections/facts
• When you receive new ‘truer’ information and knowledge
• When you don’t feel like being so cruel towards yourself
• When a particular viewpoint is creating a problem in your life
• When you see that your friends are avoiding you (i.e. consider whether the problem
lies with you).
Now, let me not be misunderstood. The idea here is not to change your opinions depending on which direction the wind is blowing in. That’s another psychological condition, known as an identity crisis. It means that you don’t have a strong character, you haven’t constructed your own perspectives, and instead you copy the ideas, principles and views of authoritative figures around you.
Balance is crucial to wise living, that is, knowing when to expand and when to contract, when to speak up and when to stay silent, when to stand firm and defend your position and when to bow your head in recognition that it’s probably better to change your mind.
The other day I read an article about Leo Tolstoy on fakulteti.mk, where it said that one of his best talents was his ability and willingness to change his attitudes based on new experiences.
Here’s to seeking out new experiences and changing our views accordingly!
Wishing you success with the changes to come,
Petar Lazarov
Member of the Team
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